From a Pediatric OT & a 2020 Parent
They Were Born When the World Stood Still. Now It Won't Slow Down. Where Are We Heading?
The children born in 2020 are six years old now. They came into a hushed world and are growing up in the fastest, most connected one in history. Their parents are more stressed than any generation of parents we've measured. This is a story about all of them, and about the small, daily awakening that can change what comes next.
They came into the world when the world had stopped.
In the spring of 2020, babies were born into hospitals where fathers waited in parking lots and grandmothers met their grandchildren through glass. The first faces most of them studied were half-covered. Their first playdates never happened. Their first birthdays were held on screens, with relatives waving from little boxes, singing slightly out of sync.
This fall, those babies are six. They're walking into first-grade classrooms with backpacks bigger than their backs.
And the people who love them are tired in a way that's hard to name.
The year the world went quiet
For a few strange months, everything we thought was essential simply stopped. The commute. The rushing. The calendar packed so tight that dinner happened in the car.
What was left was smaller and, for many families, surprisingly clear: the people in the house, a walk around the block, a meal at the table, sometimes boredom, sometimes fear. Many of us felt it then, even if we couldn't say it. The stillness showed us what actually holds a family together.
It was a kind of awakening. Then, almost as quickly, we went back to sleep.
Raised at full speed
The world didn't just restart. It sped up.
These children learned to swipe before they learned to zip a coat. They are growing up in the most connected childhood in human history. In 2026, the American Academy of Pediatrics replaced its old screen-time guidance with a new policy that looks at children's whole digital world, noting that most platforms are designed to boost engagement and profit rather than to support children's health and development.4
We became the most connected people who have ever lived, and somehow among the loneliest.
The children are more resilient than the headlines
Here's the part that rarely makes the news: the early research on these kids is reassuring.
A Johns Hopkins study of more than 50,000 young children found only modest dips in developmental screening scores during the pandemic, about 2 to 3 percent in communication, problem-solving, and personal-social skills, with no significant change in motor skills.1 A 2025 study of more than 3,400 toddlers found that those who grew up during the pandemic actually showed fewer parent-reported emotional and behavioral problems than toddlers before it.2
To be honest, neither study has followed these children all the way to age six yet. But the early message is clear: this is not a broken generation. Children are built to adapt.
The question is whether the adults around them are getting the same chance.
The adults are not okay
In 2024, the U.S. Surgeon General issued a public health advisory about a group no one had been tracking closely: parents. Nearly half of parents surveyed said that on most days their stress feels completely overwhelming, compared with about a quarter of other adults.3
That number makes sense to anyone raising kids right now. Our nervous systems never fully recovered from the years when everything stopped, and then everything sped up. Every crisis, every argument, every outrage arrives on our phones before breakfast. We flinch faster. We take sides faster. Somewhere in the noise, the instinct to understand each other got quieter than the instinct to be right.
This isn't a criticism of parents. It's a description of the water we're all swimming in.
We are more connected than we realize
In my work as a pediatric OT, one of the most consistent things I see is this: a child's nervous system learns how to be in the world by borrowing from the nervous systems around it.
Clinicians call this co-regulation. Long before children understand our words, they feel how we hold ourselves: when the news comes on, when the phone buzzes, when someone disagrees with us. Calm is contagious. So is stress.
So yes, we are all connected, more than any device could show. But the field your child learns from most isn't the internet or the headlines. It's your kitchen table.
The research points the same way. The AAP notes that frequent digital interruptions during caregiver-child time have been associated with more behavioral challenges in children.4 The most powerful influence in your child's day is still you.
Where are we heading?
So the real question isn't what the world is doing to this generation.
Are we going to teach them that love is something you scroll past? That being triggered is the same as being right? That ego matters more than care? Or will we remember what the stillness showed us in 2020, and wake up to it, on purpose this time?
The awakening is small, and it starts at home
The good news is that the answer is not dramatic. It's small, daily, and within reach:
- One calm adult. Before you regulate your child, take thirty seconds to regulate yourself. Drop your shoulders, breathe out slowly, lower your voice. Your child's body will notice before their mind does.
- One predictable rhythm. Children whose world feels fast need something they can count on: the same bedtime steps, the same after-school landing, a visual plan for the morning.
- One device-free meal. Not every meal, just one, where everyone's attention is in the same room.
- One movement break a day. Heavy work, outdoor play, climbing, carrying. Bodies that move settle more easily.
Watch your child, not their birth year
If you're worried about your six-year-old, look at how they handle daily life, not at the year they were born. Over the next two to three weeks, pick one routine that's hard (mornings, after school, or bedtime) and jot down:
- What was happening right before it got hard
- The earliest sign your child was struggling
- What you changed
- How long recovery took
- How the routine ended
Patterns appear quickly. And if you bring your notes to your pediatrician, a therapist, or to us, they make any conversation far more useful.
Earl Mamaril, MS, OTR/L
Pediatric Occupational Therapist · Dad
A note from one 2020 parent to another
I'm not only writing this as a pediatric OT. I'm writing it as a dad.
My daughter was born in 2020. I know that hushed hospital, those early months of uncertainty, and that strange mix of fear and closeness. And I know what it felt like when the world sped back up and we were all just trying to keep going.
Here's what I wish someone had told us back then:
- About screens. Not as a guilt trip, just honestly. A screen can buy a parent ten quiet minutes, and I understand why we reach for it. But in the early years, what a child's brain needs most is a face, a voice, and a back-and-forth. I wish more of us had heard that clearly.
- About baby containers. Car seats, bouncers, swings, and walkers make life manageable, and every parent uses them. But babies build strength, balance, and body awareness on the floor, on their tummies, and in our arms. Hours in a container can mean fewer of those chances. Nobody explained that to most of us.
- About what was in our kitchens. Most of us never heard that some chemicals in food packaging and plastics, like BPA and phthalates, can end up in our children's food, especially when plastic is heated, or that pediatricians have also raised concerns about some artificial food colors.5 Simple swaps help: heat food in glass or ceramic instead of plastic, keep plastic bottles and containers out of the dishwasher, and lean toward fresh, less-processed foods when you can. I wish someone had handed us that list in 2020.
- About our own stress. This is the one I wish I'd heard first. When we're running on empty, our children feel it in their bodies before they understand any of it. Our stress shapes how we parent: how quickly we react, how much patience we have left, how present we can really be.
None of this is about blame. We did the best we could with what we knew, in a year no one was prepared for. But now we know more. And that is what an awakening really is: not regret, but choosing differently from here.
Our kids are six now. It is not too late. It never is.
If you need someone to talk to, I'm here for you.
If something in this post landed close to home, whether it's worry about your child, questions about screens or development, or just the weight of parenting right now, you don't have to carry it alone. I'm a parent too, and I'm here to listen.
If your own stress feels like more than tiredness, like it's hard to get through the day, please also reach out to your doctor or a mental health professional. Taking care of yourself is part of taking care of your child.
Frequently asked questions
Are kids born in 2020 developmentally behind?
Not as a group. Early research found only modest shifts in developmental screening scores during the pandemic (about 2 to 3 percent in communication, problem-solving, and social skills) and no change in motor skills, and one large toddler study found fewer emotional and behavioral problems, not more. Long-term data is still coming in, so the most useful approach is to watch how your own child is handling daily life now.
Can a parent's stress affect a child's behavior?
Yes. Children learn regulation partly by borrowing calm from the adults around them, a process called co-regulation. When a parent is chronically overwhelmed, children often feel it in their bodies before they can put it into words. Small steps that steady the adult can steady the child too.
How worried should I be about screens for my 6-year-old?
The American Academy of Pediatrics now focuses less on strict hour limits and more on what screens are crowding out (sleep, movement, outdoor play, face-to-face time) and on how platforms are designed. Protecting a few device-free routines, like one shared meal a day, is a practical place to start.
What food packaging chemicals should parents limit?
A 2018 American Academy of Pediatrics policy statement raised concerns about bisphenols like BPA and phthalates in food packaging and plastics, as well as some artificial food colors. Practical steps include heating food in glass or ceramic instead of plastic, keeping plastic containers out of the dishwasher, and choosing fresh, less-processed foods when possible.
When should I talk to someone about my child's development?
If a daily routine is consistently hard for weeks, if your child struggles to join peer play, manage transitions, or recover after school, or if you simply have a nagging worry, it's worth a conversation. Start with your pediatrician if sleep, eating, pain, or toileting are involved. A pediatric occupational therapist can help with regulation, routines, and daily-life skills.
References
- Johnson SB, et al. (2024). Developmental Milestone Attainment in US Children Before and During the COVID-19 Pandemic. JAMA Pediatrics. JAMA Network
- Akbaryan A, et al. (2025). COVID-19 Pandemic Exposure and Toddler Behavioral Health in the ECHO Program. JAMA Network Open. JAMA Network
- Office of the U.S. Surgeon General. (2024). Parents Under Pressure: The U.S. Surgeon General's Advisory on the Mental Health and Well-Being of Parents. HHS
- American Academy of Pediatrics. (2026). Digital Ecosystems, Children, and Adolescents: Policy Statement. Pediatrics. AAP
- Trasande L, Shaffer RM, Sathyanarayana S. (2018). Food Additives and Child Health. Pediatrics, 142(2), e20181408. PMC
Comments